The Pride Rock Chainsaw Massacre
by Beastfire
Summary: It's not very gory, and it involves Timon and Nyquil. Read to see more.


The Pride Rock Chainsaw Massacre

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from the Lion King, nor do I own Nyquil (I have a bottle of it, that's all), or Freddy Kruegar, or The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

It was just a normal day in the jungle. Timon and his best friend Pumbaa were laying around under a tree. A friend of theirs, a black and blue furred meerkat named Ivy was with them. She had her laptop with a built in DVD player with her. Timon wondered why they were friends with her, with her abrasive manner and intensely short temper. Before he thought of anything else, a movie started on the computer... The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The three were immediately engrossed in the film. Then, without warning, It happened.

"ACHOO!!!"

Timon looked at the computer, now covered in mucus, Ivy going into conniptions, and Pumbaa handing him a tissue.

"Are you getting a cold, Timon?", Pumbaa asked with genuine concern.

"Of course n-ACHOO!", came the irritated reply.

"I think you are."

"Well, thanks for pointin' that out!", Ivy yelled sarcastically, running her fingers through her wavy black and blue streaked tail length hair.

Undaunted, Pumbaa said, "I'll go get us some bugs. You stay here, okay bestest best pal 'o mine?"

Pumbaa left to find some bugs. Timon kept sneezing all over the place. After ten full minutes of sneezing, Ivy became even angrier. Her big blue eyes glowed blue as she whipped out something to help Timon's cold. She chucked the bottle at him and flew off, thankful for her mutant powers.

Timon felt the bottle hit him. As he rubbed his head in pain, he picked up the bottle and examined it.

"Helps control sneezing, huh? Well, better try it."

He drank the entire bottle of that magic elixer known commonly as...Nyquil. The narcotic worked its way to her brain quite quickly, and he was out quicker than a horse that has wandered its way into an abandoned glue factory (nice metaphor, or is it a simile, huh).

Timon woke up not long after with a crazy gleam in his eye. For some reason, he had a sudden urge to rampage. He looked for a weapon and saw a chainsaw. He went running amok with the chainsaw immediately after finding it.

He searched for his first victim, who was a hyena. He ran over and made short work of him. Timon felt a rush from this and attacked all of the other hyenas. Vengence was sweet..

'Who next', the deranged meerkat wondered to himself. Then it hit him...lions seemed like a great target. Timon, with his new friend the chainsaw, went after all of the lions. That was followed by cheetahs, monkeys, and all others he could find. Nobody was safe.

While Timon was on his rampage, which included Pumbaa as a victim, Ivy was on her cell phone with her brother Ron. They were having a very animated conversation about corndogs. As they talked about the present shortage, Ivy saw Timon running around like a psycho.

"Uh, Ron? I'll hafta call you back," she said as she hung up.

She flew over to Timon, eyes glowing, and hovered in front of him.

"What in the name of Kanye West are you doing?!"

"Outta my way!"

"I believe I asked what the $#& you're doin!"

Timon responded by grabbing her from behind, poising the chainsaw at her neck.

"You know too much!", he yelled.

"You're insane! And, isn't that a-"

Ivy was punched in the face before she could finish. Timon was about to sink the blade into her flesh. She braced herself for the worst, when sirens were heard. They both looked up to see the cops.

"FREEZE!", an officer yelled.

"No!", Timon replied.

The officer confiscated the chainsaw.

"Now release the female."

"Make me!"

"You heard the dude, now leggo," Ivy smirked.

"Fine."

Timon shoved her and she fell over due to her klutziness.

"You are under arrest for disturbing the peace," the officer said.

"Disturbing the peace? B-but I killed everyone!"

"No, you SHAVED everybody bald."

"But I used a chainsaw!"

"That was an electric razor, genius!", Ivy added.

"Then where is everybody?"

Just then all of Timon's "victims" surrounded him, all completely hairless and all extremely angry.

"They're here. And they've got a vendetta the size of China."

"How could he think he killed everyone with a chainsaw?", one officer asked.

That was when they found the empty Nyquil bottle.

"Nyquil," another officer answered flatly. "He drank a whole bottle of the stuff."

"But who gave him the Nyquil?"

Ivy heard this and began shifting nervously. Before she could fly off, she was arrested as Timon's partner in crime. As they headed for prison, the driver took off a mask to reveal none other than Freddy Kruegar. They looked at each other, looked at him, and screamed.

The end.


End file.
